S.A.L.T. in the wound

Here you have it, the Southern African Large Telescope. It is the most powerful telescope in the southern hemisphere, one of the most astounding scientific inventions of all time, it can see the edge of the universe, and it's beginning too.

But it doesn't work. Not properly, at least. And it's not the 11 metres wide lense, perfect and flawless. It does everything exactly as it was designed to do.

Except share that information with those who paid for it. We in south africa are used to it. You need a telephone or internt connection ... and well, it's a problem. There is one operator, and they are pathetic. Called Telkom, they are always referred to as "hellkom" (see hellkom.co.za) or "telscum", or "those phone fuckers".

They want 10 million rand for 11miles of fibre optic cable. I think that would make it the most expensive internet connection in the world. When they EVENTUALLY get it. The order was initially placed 5 years ago. Of course, once they start transferring data, they'll shit themselves again. About a year ago, someone needed to download 100gigabytes of data to south africa. Not only was it cheaper to FLY TO HONG KONG and back, but faster too. It took about 2 hours to transfer the data at an internet cafe at Hong Kong aiport, whereas it would have taken 2 and a half weeks here in SA.

This article that i picked up on, the Guardian, pointed out a recent stunt whereby a company sent a data card VIA PIDGEON, since it was faster than any available internet connection over a 50km or so radius. The pidgeon delivered the data card before the internet transfer was even half way.

I can't make this shit up.

This is what the world sees, and i would imagine, laughs at. www.guardian.co.uk