The Good

It's 2h30 am and the thoughts are running wild. Listening to Pink Floyd, having another smoke and trying to untangle this knot of thought into a coherent post. It has to be a post, see, since i cannot leave rip anyone on top for too long ... just wrong you know? Besides, too many other things that are wanting attention. Also living things ... ideas ... thoughts .... dreams. Aquila ka Hecate did a post about the year gone by. It's something i also should do, perhaps. I'm not the sentimental sort, pushes me more in the "mental" direction than anything else, reflecting on oneself too much leads to unfortunate perspectives.

This year has been anything but about me, which is either fortunate or not as per your perspective. Family foremost ... then toyrun, friends, work and daily life, then me. I suppose there should be a sub heading "problems" there somewhere, although i think it's safe to accept its synonimity with family. That warrants a grin, one can approach life armed with nothing but humour, but that also requires a large measure of truth in it to be effective.

I've looked at the year past, briefly already, the less said the better. I'm looking at now, and forward, the year to come, 2011 i'm reliably told, Anno Domini. Me in a small country at the south end of the most brutal continent on earth, a young(?) white guy with a family and bills. And a head full of silly ideas. That sums me up quite well, doesn't it? *chuckle* I have achieved very little to date, not do i have ambitions of any sorts, save to be left alone as much as possible, and the occasional bouts of sex, drugs, rock n roll and philosophy. And i get around on a motorbike. Which combines all 4 of the above (trust me on this). My zen is coming along nicely the christianity not so much. They're the same thing on so many levels, can't something just be simple for once? And why on earth would i get stupid ideas (ANY) about the future, least of which my part in it?

The reason pure and simple is "good". I use that word because it's simple, and accurate. But it's an adjective, usually, so i need to point out that its more of a noun, in this sense. A goal, an attribute, state of mind even, something that creates more good. You create what's around you because you stamp your mark on whatever is closest to you, and when in a time-based ritualised, closeted life, as we are, it is very difficult to be anything other than bland, and it is the blandness which drives the insanity. To strive for the good, and be the good, and produce good is good. And it's good, God said so when it was good. We never get anything that right, but as His (Her) creation it's a simple enough bar to stand against, be good.

Arete, that's the word. Good, that's all. And i have to be good, because that is the highest which i can attain to, and quite simply must. If the year past has taught me nothing else, it's that there most certainly is a bad, which frankly is stupid, ugly, and counter productive. So we go forward into the nether with humour, and idealism, a desire for truth, and a hatful of reasons to take the easier way. It's such a bloody HUMAN way to be. My cup gets filled daily with mud, and i can be all zen like about having a cupful of mud as opposed to anything else, but it's still a cupful of mud, you know? And "here boss keep it" didn't go down too well last time. You have to smile, accept the mud and THEN figure out what the hell to do with it. Traffic, radio, people ... too many of the damned things round here, they keep getting in each other's way ... i digress. Too much mud, to be polite, and all you want is a cup of clear cold water.

We all have it, and we all have our way of expressing it, and dealing with it. My taoistic approach has been working well, the less i interfere the better stuff works. Crazy isn't it? But how to do nothing, and still produce quality? Not do nothing, but not initiating, accept what comes my way with an open mind. But there's this demon driving me lately, it's telling me to go out and accomplish something. I'm stuck between a fear of the possible implications, and a very real fear of failure. Just because haven't achieved anything before doesn't mean i've never tried. My personal most glorious moments were all accidental, and usually i was the only one who ever knew. You walk your path, and assume all things as afternoon rain.

Put it this way, i'm really hoping that my path includes a glorious victory for doing nothingness, in the form of many smiling people, and perhaps a career more suited to my abilities, outlined above (motorcyles and associated). Of course, i do not choose my path, i merely follow it ... :D

I made a zen garden, and my boy wants to make a sky lantern (if he survives the new skateboard, one of the with only 2 wheels, i ask you???). I've sorted through the family holiday photos, some will appear here soon, and wifey has painted many, many things in this last week. By wifey i mean the wife AND the entire family. My eldest daughter is embarking on high school, and more importantly, she's doing a home cooking course from a series of recipes courtesy of her granny. I'm looking forward to eating i mean watching that. The youngest is just herself, a stunning example of how to BE and how to be GOOD. I think that's the other reason i'm closer to the ideals lately, i have such an excellent example living with me. Always singing, asking, offering and smiling.

And it it like this that i wait for the sunrise. There will be a sunrise soon, a great big fire in the sky, just sitting there, and we're flying around it at thousands of kilometres per hour, spinning and wobbling the whole time. This universe is a freaking bizarre place.

I'm done, thanks for listening. As a small reward, please accept the following beautiful, if leeched photoshop item. I can say it was tumblr, but i don't have the exact addy, so i can't give proper credit. Give tumblr a browse, very visual, try onestonedcrow.tumblr.com for starters, he's gotfantastic images, with particular focus on alice, and the hookah smokin catapiller.

I'm having hell with this keyboard, so i apologise for all the typos.

peace and love

RIP Ziggy

I wasn't going to post anything, and certainly didn't imagine i'd post this.

Ziggy died on christmas morning, of what we understand was a viral infection. Apparently it can be inocculated against, but we didn't know about it. We were also told that there was nothing we could do. He died over a 5 day period, and while obviously not well, he didn't show too much discomfort, we medicated and cared for him as best we could. I summed it up quite well for wifey: he not feeling well, he knows we know he's not feeling well, he knows we're doing what we can.

Hard hearted me is more upset than i'd let on, wifey is taking it very hard, for various (complicated) reasons, and the kids have all been distracted, i think they'll realise it today (we were out all day yesterday).

They grey lourie is a beautiful bird, hated by hunters because it is such an effective sentry for all wildlife. Hunters call it the "go-away " bird for this. I'll never hear the distinctive "kwaaaa" again without pausing a moment, and remembering. Smart, affectionate, inquisitive, bold and more, a really interactive bird that caught the fancy of all who came to visit, especially children.

Back to the one ... a small spark of life gone back the all and is now what we breathe, think and live out forever more. Ziggy was a link, a living piece of puzzle that creates this world, and it's impossible to convey the depth of meaning this little bird generated in his short life.

I'll miss him, i do already.

Note

It's a rather ... particular time of year, with all manner of things clamouring for our attention; year ends, parties, family, christmas, shopping, holidays and all the other glitz of the season.

I'm seeing this time now as year end, and renewal ... hopefully, a resetting of the clock ... which clock i'm not sure, but i'm reliably told there is one. It's been a year full ... of everything really, highs and lows in abundance, speaking about it here now, i cannot even pinpoint anything and say THAT was the bad or good thing. It all just flowed through us in an unceasing wave of experience, bringing both the life giving water and the flotsam it carries.

I have to express my deepest gratitude to people this year. Thank you. Without the people who surround me i would have had a much more unpleasant year. Bringing advice, friendship, company, assistance, and all other things we shared. Even to my bloglist sites, those people who put something "out there" at their leasure for our enjoyment, thank you. To the people who touched my life, thank you too.

I would say the highlight was about 6pm on the day of the toyrun. My duties had been carried out successfully, and while the toyrun wasn't entirely over, my part was done, and 28 000 children received a small token of love from a stranger. That alone is reason to smile, and more reason to be grateful for that which you do have.

I went out last night for coffee with a friend, and coming home around 12 i'd missed a massive amount of rain, as evidenced by the volume of water on the roads. The skies were heavily overcast, but not in a grey foggy blanket, but with the almost full moon highlighting all the cracks in the clouds, all the linings that silver colour. Brilliant white lightning added to the sky's display of grandeur, and an immediate pulse of ... adrenalin? or pride? or even lust for life surged through me. Our thunderstorms, like life, are both beautiful and dangerous at the same time. How can we approach them both with the right respect, enthusiam, and zest as they deserve?

I have no fixed idea really, that part of me is still debating the "best" way for me, but caring is part of it, and loyalty to self a second part. Saying NO a lot helps too.

This year rendered all my plans and schemes to dust. I sit and reflect on what could easily have been, what i thought i would do and achieve, and what actually transpired. What emerged is a different set of circumstances and rules and goals and materials, but there's something still begging for release inside me. A seed that has germinated, but now needs soil to be planted in, and so can grow in real terms outside of me.

I don't think of one thing when i say that, what i mean is more ... i have to make an impact. Something i've been avoiding for too long. It's a hope, a goal (even though i hate that word) ... it's a direction. Walk in the direction of the rising sun for 365 days, and you shall find the answers to your questions. So the wise voice in my head tells me ... i think he's having me on.

Peace and love ... i keep saying it, and it risks becomg a bland excuse for saying nothing, but i mean it. Everytime i say it, i think about it, and try my best to mean it. Peace ... may your heart be at ease with the world, and Love ... may you know it, feel it, and share it with others.

peace and love

Whale and Petunias

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Thank you http://thisisnthappiness.com/

Metaphysics of Quality

i feel like the screen on Tetris, and i'm doing ok for now. All these strange shapes dropping into place and forming a picture of their own, utterly unique. The pieces are ideas, concepts and facts, all seemingly unconnected and seperate, but ultimately having to fit into some sort of picture. Of the universe, my world, of me and you and how we share this place and time ... all very ... abstract.

The problem itself is age old, you have science and you have art ... and as per current thinking you cannot have both. But they are inextricably linked? The human experience ... on opposing ends, the look at the same "object" and give a totally different interpretation ... the chair as it is ... or as we understand it to be?

Enter Mr Robert Pirsig, a man who i am more and more beliving to be a true "prophet" of our times. His stories are surreal, more dreamlike than most, but here is the curious thing, his "novels" are so close to his life as to be indistinguishable from history. There are several investigations that have been performed on the book Zen, and everything reported, sights sounds places and so on are completely true to life. This is noteworthy i think, in a world where fiction is preferred, to have someone diguise reality as fiction.

There's a terrible sense of URGENCY in his books, of sincerity that is very often misunderstood, for sarcasm perhaps. Reading Pirsig, i can't help but feel his burden for us all, he cares, and that care was called insanity at one point. Obviously he was ill, manic, but that same mania that he lived, he used as a basis for both his major works. And probably the LEAST "woe is me" attitude of any other writers who have spoken of their experience as mental inmates.

His battle cries are QUALITY and VALUE, 2 words we've most come to associate with "discount shopping" ... and yet what an unfortunate place for two such grand words? Almost makes it appear intentional ... a conspiracy against quality. It would be silly, if it were not for this great dilema before us, of the differences between here and there, subject and object, that pervade everything from our daily interactions to atomic sciences and beyond. The problem is that we picked a pair of glasses, which worked well as a magnifying glass, but now we cannot see further than our hands. But when you try point out that the glasses are faulty, you are shown the last 500 years worth of innovation as proof that the glasses are not faulty.

The second part of the problem is that the scientific world cannot even conceive of taking the glasses off, as they argue that will render them unable to continue the last 500 years worth of innovation. Of course, the many things that science cannot perceive with the glasses on is said to be worthless ... when clearly it is not.

There is a serious problem here, and one that to scientific reality in NOT solvable. However, scientific reality is bound within certain laws of the glasses. The glasses being more than anything, a means of communication ... seeing the secret of the universe is worthless unless you are able to logically describe it to others. At some point both science and art have to touch us, otherwise it's like watching mental masturbation. And when they are both touching us, they are touching each other, and that is when truth and beauty become one ... and it not only makes sense, but beautifully so.

Subjects, Objects, Data and Values
by Robert M Pirsig

Print it out ... it's hard to read, as it's a presentation more than a book, and the topics are quite deep. But it nails exactly where the problem lies, and alo i believe, how to fix it. Not like a roadmap, more like a compass really.

It's something i'm going to dig deeper into ... there's so much here. It's also sobering to contemplate exxactly how far behind our philosophy is. Einstein warned of this, where the science is not balanced by morals, or values. We have almost reached that ... where science has no relevance to us past "convenience" and gimmicks, and science itself has forgotten it's own value systems, in the days of GLOBAL WARMING, no CLIMATE CHANGE, no, CLIMATE DISRUPTIONS, no ... the real worlkd vs our silly ideas of it.

peace and love

Reality

I've been having the most surreal time lately. Real indeed, but almost like a postcard scene, almost too perfect. No complaints from me ... just a rather bewildered admission.

I have new bike tyres, what an awesome improvement!! And i managed to fix a problem i've had for over 2 years now. The spark plugs caps had cracked, and i was experiencing a "missfire" when opening throttle, it's been really annoying for years, suddenly fixed. The magic of knowledge.

I haven't posted much, just thoughts that creep into my mind and swirl the colours and patterns for a while, most relaxing. But the mental winds and tides still flow, sometimes stronger sometimes weaker, bringing all sorts of smells, sounds and sights to me. Always shifting the perspective, always re-evaluating past concepts and seeing if perhaps there's a [i]better[/i] view of all this.

Better ... such a flighty word, so loaded with expectations. And of course the inevitable [i]here[/i] that needs improvement. Reality is. Not much we can do to change it. But our consciousness isn't fixed, it's driftwood on the open seas, sometimes up, sometimes down, always moving, swirling rolling towards some distant shore.

My post earlier this week, "Back to reality" was a thoughtless heading, but strangely apt. And when i read an essay by Robert Pirsig on reality, and escaping therefrom, well it synched in many unexpected ways.

Cruising Blues and Their Cure
By Robert Pirsig, Esquire, May 1977

If this is so, then it follows that those who see sailing as an escape from reality have got their understanding of both sailing and reality completely backwards. Sailing is not an escape but a return to and a confrontation of a reality from which modern civilization is itself an escape. For centuries, man suffered from the reality of an earth that was too dark or too hot or too cold for his comfort, and to escape this he invented complex systems of lighting, heating and air conditioning. Sailing rejects these and returns to the old realities of dark and heat and cold. Modern civilization has found radio, TV, movies, nightclubs and a huge variety of mechanized entertainment to titillate our senses and help us escape from the apparent boredom of the earth and the sun and wind and stars. Sailing returns to these ancient realities.
_________________________________________________________________________

But we cannot live in the reality of planet earth anymore. We are bound to playing this charade of civilised life day in and day out. Among a people who believe rain is to be avoided at all costs, well you could hardly imagine it being "reality" any more than reality tv. But it IS real, every day you get up and ... things happen. My reality is fairly pleasant, mostly. But the problem is in the escape, where i wish to be elsewhere, doing something else, being something different too. Which is the escape, and which the reality?

Most of our 9-5 is escaping reality, facades for the office, inventing relationships for profit, and speaking of surreal concepts which nature, humanity, and me feel absolutely fuckall for. Reality. Return to. Just give me some of that old time reality, and i think i'll be ok. A snarling dog, a screeching car. And suddenly your brains screams LIFE!!! At all costs. Rain, wet and cool and fragrant ... a small flower, your child, beaming as she discovers some hitherto unknown insect.

So i'm going to keep on living a little ... looking for that QUALITY in life. Making dynamic decisions that embrace myself and my challenges in to one unbroken form.

I wish you a fantastic day!!!

Simply Be

The philosophy of Lao Tsu is simple: Accept what is in front of you without wanting the situation to be other than it is, Study the natural order of things and work with it rather than against it, for to try to change what is ..... only sets up resistance. Nature provides everything without requiring payment or thanks and also provides for all without discrimination — therefore let us present the same face to everyone and treat all men as equals, however they may behave. If we watch carefully, we will see that work proceeds more quickly and easily if we stop "trying," if we stop putting in so much extra effort, if we stop looking for results. In the clarity of a still and open mind, truth will be reflected. We will come to appreciate the original meaning of the word "understand," which means to stand under" We serve whatever or whoever stands before us, without any thought for ourselves. Te—which may be translated as “virtue” or "strength"—lies always In Tao, or "natural law." In other words: Simply be.

Create Culture

"We have to create culture, don't watch TV, don't read magazines, don't even listen to NPR. Create your own roadshow. The nexus of space and time where you are now is the most immediate sector of your universe, and if you're worrying about Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton or somebody else, then you are disempowered, you're giving it all away to icons, icons which are maintained by an electronic media so that you want to dress like X or have lips like Y. This is #-brained, this kind of thinking. That is all cultural diversion, and what is real is you and your friends and your associations, your highs, your orgasms, your hopes, your plans, your fears. And we are told 'no', we're unimportant, we're peripheral. 'Get a degree, get a job, get a this, get a that.' And then you're a player, you don't want to even play in that game. You want to reclaim your mind and get it out of the hands of the cultural engineers who want to turn you into a half-baked moron consuming all this trash that's being manufactured out of the bones of a dying world." — Terence McKenna

Worthless vaccines

Myths and Facts: Study Verifies That There Is No Value In Any Flu Vaccine

"...industry funded studies were published in more prestigious journals and cited more than other studies..."

"...reliable evidence on influenza vaccines is thin..."

"...there is evidence of widespread manipulation of conclusions..."

The authors found that vaccines administered parenterally, that is, outside the digestive tract, usually meaning by injection, reduced influenza-like symptoms by 4%. They found no evidence that vaccination prevents viral transmission! (There goes the whole herd immunity argument!) They also found no evidence that they prevent complications, either.

In spite of the limited reporting on adverse effects, the authors did find some, including 1.6 Guillain-Barré cases per million.

The question that must be asked is: How can influenza vaccinations be justified when there is virtually no benefit—not even the oft-cited dubious herd-immunity—and cases of severe harm are documented, in spite of disgustingly limited reporting of adverse effects?

It is long past time to end the travesty of jabbing adults and children without a shred of evidence showing real benefit in spite of trying to find it, and with evidence of crippling harm, in spite of trying to mask it.

Back to reality

Yes, i've been away from reality. 800 kilometres away in fact, on the Natal south coast. An absolute break from the everyday humdrum. All day to swim, read, walk on the beach, and very little else.

The kids were brilliant, well behaved and enthusiastic about everything, and my youngest got to see the sea for the first time ... it's really mind boggling when you see it from her young perspective.

Stopped in at my cousin pn the way home, haven't seen her for 20 years or so ... how easily we continued where we left off, even though i now had a whole family. She'd met the elder two, but not the youngest, her kids are all grown up now too. Unreal how fast life happens when you're not watching.

Got back to family, at the seaside, which is always a different set of peceptions. Different time frames, different space, different attitudes. Nothing fancy of course, just simple and clear cut.

I read a few books, and had a whole bunch of thinking nothing at all. I'm going to post some ideas and maybe some pictures here soon, keep an eye out for it!

Peace and love

Toyrun

It's over, thanks be. Months of work, phoning, organising, begging and some more creative thinking came to a climax on sunday. Numbers were down, attendance, gifts, money spent, all down on last year. Sign of the times i guess. No incidents though, save one poor bloke who tried to cross the bus lane ... it didn't work.

28 000 toys ... i cannot tell you how awesome it is to stand before it, and know that each toy will make a smile. Helluva lot of smiling kids. The whole event has a way of warping your sense of space and time. It's too big, too short, and WAY too busy when comparing with normal life. The noise, dust, heat and myriad sparkling pointa of chrome. The 20 trikes and trailers, headed up by santa himself ...

The volunteers, literally slaving away at intersections in the sun, waving and smiling at the passing metal. Nerds-on-site ... here's some free advertising. Their team got stuck in and worked. Helpful, friendly, resourceful. If you need some help with your computer "stuffs" ... give them a shout.

Just a few pictures here, we didn't get too many this year, i was too busy for a camera, although it would have been nice. The kaleidascope of colours shapes and spectacles is incredible! I'll try add some links as i find them, Think Bike has a few, and toyrun will have some up by december end i hope. Makro was also phenomenal in having toys available to puchase on site, and had really great prices.

I think that's it ... so much to say ... but much has already been said. I'll leave you with a few pics that caught my eye. Please, if you can, buy a toy, or a few, and just give it to some kid who won't get anything this year. I don't care where in the world you are, within 10km is a needy kid, show you care.







EDIT: So now i'm getting e-mails from some of the homes (already) with kids and toys ... and each one has a great big smile. I can't post these pics, legal reasons (underage in special care homes) but um ... first time i'm just about in tears.
THAT's why we do this. All becomes so simple. A kid, and a toy. What's so hard to understand?

Peace and love people.