OK, this is from the New York Times,and is their view on getting a licence n good ol' rsa. Selected quotes followed by the link for the FULL story.
OMG this is SO funny.
“People seem to judge by the long queues that the system is not working,” a spokesman for the Transport Ministry said at the time. He added, soothingly, “It’s not true.”
“I have attempted to call the call center — in quick succession — 271 times. Not joking,” one miserable soul wrote in November on the Internet site drivers.com. “I have gotten though to music and voice prompts 18 times. Each time this lasts for three minutes, before you are disconnected.”
Even though the K53 method has been used for a dozen years — or perhaps because so few drivers have obtained licenses — traffic accidents and deaths are rising fast, to 15,400 fatalities last year, up nearly 9 percent from 2005. The fatality rate per mile traveled, the best measure of road safety, is five times that in the United States, which is in turn higher than in most developed nations.
Based on Britain’s national driving exam, the K53 effectively requires an applicant to imagine that he is driving a live claymore mine under assault by guerrillas in bumper cars. The hand brake must be engaged silently at all stops (ratchet-clicking is strictly forbidden), and all mirrors must be checked every seven seconds. Points are deducted for glancing at the gearshift, driving too slowly, failing to ensure that head- and taillights are securely attached, failing to check the play on the clutch pedal, failing to look beneath the car for leaks and several score other sins.
It is helpful to learn South Africa’s extensive and sometimes charming traffic code, which sometimes rates children between 6 and 13 as one-third of a passenger and includes a road sign that depicts a stick-figure man astride an ostrich.
More here
hehehehehehehehehehehehe
Wednesday, 31 October 2007
Monday, 29 October 2007
Autobahn!!
Autobahn speed limit decision
29/10/2007 10:24
Berlin - German Chancellor Angela Merkel on Sunday ruled out introducing a national speed limit on motorways, as proposed by her Social Democrat (SPD) coalition partners.
"That is not going to happen with me," she said in an interview on German television, restating her party's long-held stance.
She said the existing system, which sets limits on stretches of highway deemed to be dangerous, was the best way to guarantee safety. And traffic jams were just as damaging to the environment as driving fast, she said.
The SPD, in an uneasy coalition with Merkel's conservative Christian Democrats (CDU), voted on Saturday to introduce a speed limit of 130km/h to help reduce C02 emissions.
Some environmental groups say speed caps would cut vehicle CO2 output by 5% immediately and 15% in the longer term, once more fuel-efficient cars are used.
Germany's motorways were built without speed limits by the Nazis and since World War Two the country's influential car industry has lobbied hard against any national rules.
Drivers' association ADAC had also rejected the idea although some polls show up to 60% of Germans favour it.
29/10/2007 10:24
Berlin - German Chancellor Angela Merkel on Sunday ruled out introducing a national speed limit on motorways, as proposed by her Social Democrat (SPD) coalition partners.
"That is not going to happen with me," she said in an interview on German television, restating her party's long-held stance.
She said the existing system, which sets limits on stretches of highway deemed to be dangerous, was the best way to guarantee safety. And traffic jams were just as damaging to the environment as driving fast, she said.
The SPD, in an uneasy coalition with Merkel's conservative Christian Democrats (CDU), voted on Saturday to introduce a speed limit of 130km/h to help reduce C02 emissions.
Some environmental groups say speed caps would cut vehicle CO2 output by 5% immediately and 15% in the longer term, once more fuel-efficient cars are used.
Germany's motorways were built without speed limits by the Nazis and since World War Two the country's influential car industry has lobbied hard against any national rules.
Drivers' association ADAC had also rejected the idea although some polls show up to 60% of Germans favour it.
Knockin on Heaven's Door
Guitarists gather for grand musical moment
October 29 2007 at 03:12AM
Shillong, India - More than 1 700 guitarists in India's remote north-east region played a Bob Dylan classic on Friday in an effort to break a world record for the largest ever guitar ensemble.
The guitarists of all ages and skills performed Dylan's Knockin' On Heaven's Door in the hill state of Meghalaya to start a month-long Autumn Festival in state capital Shillong.
The world record will be declared after officials nominated by the Guinness World Records submit their report, Robert G. Lyngdoh, chairperson of the local tourism development forum told the gathering, which included a four-year-old guitarist.
"Meghalaya has once again broken a world record with the 1 730-strong guitar ensemble which played for a continuous five minutes in perfect rhythm," said Lyngdoh.
The current Guinness record - 1 683 guitarists - for the largest ensemble performance, of Deep Purple's Smoke On The Water, was set on June 3, 2007 at Kansas city in the United States.
The annual Indian festival, aimed at promoting Meghalaya and seven north-east sister states, created a new world record last year for the largest drum ensemble, comprising 7 951 people.
October 29 2007 at 03:12AM
Shillong, India - More than 1 700 guitarists in India's remote north-east region played a Bob Dylan classic on Friday in an effort to break a world record for the largest ever guitar ensemble.
The guitarists of all ages and skills performed Dylan's Knockin' On Heaven's Door in the hill state of Meghalaya to start a month-long Autumn Festival in state capital Shillong.
The world record will be declared after officials nominated by the Guinness World Records submit their report, Robert G. Lyngdoh, chairperson of the local tourism development forum told the gathering, which included a four-year-old guitarist.
"Meghalaya has once again broken a world record with the 1 730-strong guitar ensemble which played for a continuous five minutes in perfect rhythm," said Lyngdoh.
The current Guinness record - 1 683 guitarists - for the largest ensemble performance, of Deep Purple's Smoke On The Water, was set on June 3, 2007 at Kansas city in the United States.
The annual Indian festival, aimed at promoting Meghalaya and seven north-east sister states, created a new world record last year for the largest drum ensemble, comprising 7 951 people.
Friday, 26 October 2007
Metallica - For whom the bell tolls
Make us fight on the hill in the early day
Constant chill deep inside
Shouting gun, on they run through the endless grey
On the fight, for they are right, yes, but whos to say?
For a hill men would kill, why? they do not know
Suffered wounds test there their pride
Men on fire, still alive through the raging glow
Gone insane from the pain that they surely know
[chorus:]
For whom the bell tolls
Time marches on
For whom the bell tolls
Take a look to the sky just before you die
It is the last time you will
Blackened roar massive roar fills the crumbling sky
Shattered goal fills his soul with a ruthless cry
Stranger now, are his eyes, to this mystery
He hears the silence so loud
Crack of dawn, all is gone except the will to be
Now they will see what will be, blinded eyes to see
[chorus]
Thursday, 25 October 2007
May his spirit live forever
Lucky Dube: rastas never die
October 25 2007 at 07:33AM
By Poloko Tau, Therese Owen and Janet Smith
An emotional Skipha Shabalala, the lead guitarist in Lucky Dube's band, conjured up the memory of Bob Marley in praise of Lucky Dube at his packed memorial.
The words from Marley's political anthem, Redemption Song, were potent with new meaning as Shabalala provoked the 2 000-odd crowd at the Bassline in Newtown, Joburg, on Wednesday to consider the savagery of crime.
"How long shall they kill our prophets, while we stand aside and look?" he reminded the crowd.
Dube was killed in what police believe was a botched hijacking in Rosettenville last Thursday night.
Shabalala was one of several speakers, including a subdued but defiant Hilda Tloubatla, of the Mahotella Queens, and Cosatu general secretary Zwelinzima Vavi, who urged the mourners to act against crime in whatever way possible.
The memorial service began on a profound, spiritual note with a group of Shembe church followers, dressed in crisp white, kneeling down in prayer at the front of the venue before marching inside.
The way they carried themselves was in stark contrast to a near-chaotic scene earlier at the main entrance when about 200 people tried to force their way in.
Inside, people on the benches were shoulder to shoulder. Their attention was soon diverted when Dube's music started blaring out of speakers outside, and his music - as it always did - calmed everyone down, creating an ecstatic wonderland of dance on the grass in front of the club.
A giant outdoor screen allowed fans, many draped in the red, green and gold of the Rastafarian religion, to follow proceedings inside.
A fan, jumping up and down, exclaimed: "Nobody can stop reggae. They might have taken him (Lucky Dube) away but reggae will remain. The message remains and will forever be there."
Also caught up in the emotion outside was Ras Moeng, a fan, who said: "Dube has left a legacy, so has Bob Marley and many others. Reggae is here to stay, so is Rastafarism.
"As for the brothers who committed this barbaric act, they must know that they have robbed us of a jewel, a lion and a true African. May his spirit live forever."
Speakers at the memorial included Ivor Haarburger, CEO of Dube's record company, Gallo; Trompies star and music activist Eugene Mthetwa; and the SABC's CEO, Dali Mpofu.
Vavi's long speech, met with giggles and some applause, was contentious. He replaced the scheduled Kid Sithole of the newly launched Creative Workers Union of South Africa on the programme to attack "monopolistic" recording companies and music pirates, as well as the SABC for not giving enough airplay to local musicians.
Vavi used the opportunity to call for all those present to join a protest march to the office of Safety and Security MEC Firoz Cachalia immediately after the memorial.
In contrast, Dube's two daughters - Laura (11) and Bongi (21) - held on to each other for strength when they read an obituary. And Zulu traditional musician Bhekumuzi Luthuli cried openly on stage when he performed a tribute to his close friend and stablemate.
A hush fell on the crowd.
Haarburger warmed to the nostalgia of the moment when he recalled how, when he met Dube, then 21 years old, the musician had already released five albums: two Zulu traditional records and three English reggae albums.
"Twenty years ago, a seven single cost R2,95 and an LP R9,60," said the music company boss. "Now, Lucky's Slave and Prisoner (albums) are still in the top 10 in South Africa's all-time sales."
There was also applause for Tloubatla, who introduced a political dimension to her tribute when she blamed "foreigners" for Dube's death.
Four suspects - two Mozambicans and two South Africans - appeared in court on Tuesday in connection with the murder, and the case was postponed to October 30 for a bail application.
"Why are we being ruled by foreigners in our country?" Tloubatla shouted, but master of ceremonies Sipho Mabuse was quick to correct her after her speech, urging mourners to place their trust in the judicial system and not take the law into their own hands.
Music celebrities, including top artists such as Deborah Fraser, Rebecca Malope, Thandiswa Mazwai and Simphiwe Dana, were at the service to pay their respects, while superstar Ringo Madlingozi and kwaito stars Arthur and Mdu mingled backstage.
Thousands of messages have been arriving at the Gallo offices for a week, and among those read out were condolences from top British musician Peter Gabriel, who once shared the stage with Dube, and the presidents of Gambia and Senegal.
The Ministry of Arts and Culture was represented by Professor Keorapetse Kgositsile, who read out a statement from Minister Pallo Jordan.
There were powerful performances from the Mahotella Queens and the Soul Brothers but it was when Dube's own band took to the stage that it really hit home that the superstar was gone.
The words of his immortal hit Rastas Never Die were changed to the chant: "You can kill Lucky, but nobody can stop reggae."
And Shabalala's love for his bandleader and friend would probably carry the warmest echo: "Lucky was a legend, an icon, a father, a prophet, a devoted family man, indeed a great teacher. He believed in truth and respect."
Can you walk home drunk?
I wish i could embed this somehow .... but i can't so bleh.
Anyway *grin* lotsa fun, i've only go to about 71m, practice makes perfect!!!
can you walk home drunk
Anyway *grin* lotsa fun, i've only go to about 71m, practice makes perfect!!!
can you walk home drunk
Wednesday, 24 October 2007
Demands
‘We want this! And that! We demand a share in that, and most of that, some of this, and f**king all of that! Less of that, and more of this, and f**king plenty of this! And another thing, we want it now! I want it yesterday, I want f**king more tomorrow, and the demands will all be changed then so f**king stay awake!’
As per Mr Billy Connolly
Tuesday, 23 October 2007
Speedster pays R32 000 in fines
By: Anna Cox
October 23 2007 at 07:05AM
One of Johannesburg's worse traffic offenders, a man identified only as Mr S. Essa, has appeared in the Randburg magistrate's court and was forced to pay R32 000 in fines.
This was both for fines which had accumulated under his own name and for those he had received while using false number plates.
An additional charge has been added for defeating the ends of justice, and he will appear in court again in two weeks.
Essa was arrested through the new number plate identification technology used by Johannesburg Metro Police Department (JMPD) traffic officers.
'This man has absolutely no regard for the law'
He was caught doing 202km/h on the N3 at Fourteenth Avenue while using false number plates.
Essa has 41 traffic offences, including four speeding offences for exceeding the speed limit by over 60km/h - for which an admission-of-guilt fine cannot be paid.
Officers scanned the registration number, which was found to belong to a VW Golf.
They (officials) gave chase and Essa was caught and arrested.
He was getting as many as five different speeding fines in one day.
'Very few motorists will be able to escape it'
At the same roadblock, a red Porsche was caught doing 246km/h.
Traffic officers, however, couldn't catch him. However, through the number plate identification machine it was found that the driver too, had wrong number plates on the vehicle.
Two digits in the number had been switched around.
JMPD officers plan to arrest him this week, and he will also be charged with defeating the ends of justice.
The JMPD director responsible for case prosecutions and courts, Gerrie Gerneke, said the number plate identification machine was proving to be a big success in catching people using false number plates.
"We are pushing for a high fine for Essa, even a possible suspended jail sentence. It is a very serious offence. This man has absolutely no regard for the law.
"He thought he would get away with it because he was using false number plates. The Porsche driver, too, thought he could get away with speeding by swopping the two digits around," Gerneke said.
He noted that 10 000 vehicles using false number plates were on the computer system.
"When motorists complain about the fines they are getting for cars which do not match theirs, we immediately log it onto the system so that when cars go through our roadblocks we can identify them.
"On Sunday alone, three out of nine cars we stopped were using false plates, and the drivers were arrested," said Gerneke. "This technology is a first for South Africa, and very few motorists will be able to escape it."
The machine picks up vehicles with outstanding warrants, and stolen cars or those used in heists and hijackings.
At one roadblock this month, 19 vehicles which went through in six hours were found to be stolen. "We did not have the manpower to chase them, so they got away, but we will catch them at other roadblocks," Gerneke said.
This article was originally published on page 8 of The Star on October 23, 2007
______________________________________________________________________________
I read this and only thought "another" until i read carefully, a lot of detail coming out here. The last paragraph says it all: "19 vehicles which went through in six hours were found to be stolen. "We did not have the manpower to chase them, so they got away". So they have this wonderful technology, but it' not being effective for getting the stolen vehicles, those get away, but only you dear fool ctizen stand still for them to bloody your knuckles. Yes there is application, and i would have to agreed that guys like Mr Essa should be punished, but again, they parade him around like a pariah, and cite stolen vehicles escaping the roadblocks, while studiously working at harvesting your cash.
This is not about justice, this is not about road safety. What gets me is they try and make it to be. How the hell can he stand there and say that the 19 cars known to be stolen, just got away. So you got 19 people that are in stolen vehicles, KNOW they're in stolen vehicles, that are still out there, despite us as the collective citizenry having paid for measures to be put in to place to stop them?
This is africa, everything breaks down here.
October 23 2007 at 07:05AM
One of Johannesburg's worse traffic offenders, a man identified only as Mr S. Essa, has appeared in the Randburg magistrate's court and was forced to pay R32 000 in fines.
This was both for fines which had accumulated under his own name and for those he had received while using false number plates.
An additional charge has been added for defeating the ends of justice, and he will appear in court again in two weeks.
Essa was arrested through the new number plate identification technology used by Johannesburg Metro Police Department (JMPD) traffic officers.
'This man has absolutely no regard for the law'
He was caught doing 202km/h on the N3 at Fourteenth Avenue while using false number plates.
Essa has 41 traffic offences, including four speeding offences for exceeding the speed limit by over 60km/h - for which an admission-of-guilt fine cannot be paid.
Officers scanned the registration number, which was found to belong to a VW Golf.
They (officials) gave chase and Essa was caught and arrested.
He was getting as many as five different speeding fines in one day.
'Very few motorists will be able to escape it'
At the same roadblock, a red Porsche was caught doing 246km/h.
Traffic officers, however, couldn't catch him. However, through the number plate identification machine it was found that the driver too, had wrong number plates on the vehicle.
Two digits in the number had been switched around.
JMPD officers plan to arrest him this week, and he will also be charged with defeating the ends of justice.
The JMPD director responsible for case prosecutions and courts, Gerrie Gerneke, said the number plate identification machine was proving to be a big success in catching people using false number plates.
"We are pushing for a high fine for Essa, even a possible suspended jail sentence. It is a very serious offence. This man has absolutely no regard for the law.
"He thought he would get away with it because he was using false number plates. The Porsche driver, too, thought he could get away with speeding by swopping the two digits around," Gerneke said.
He noted that 10 000 vehicles using false number plates were on the computer system.
"When motorists complain about the fines they are getting for cars which do not match theirs, we immediately log it onto the system so that when cars go through our roadblocks we can identify them.
"On Sunday alone, three out of nine cars we stopped were using false plates, and the drivers were arrested," said Gerneke. "This technology is a first for South Africa, and very few motorists will be able to escape it."
The machine picks up vehicles with outstanding warrants, and stolen cars or those used in heists and hijackings.
At one roadblock this month, 19 vehicles which went through in six hours were found to be stolen. "We did not have the manpower to chase them, so they got away, but we will catch them at other roadblocks," Gerneke said.
This article was originally published on page 8 of The Star on October 23, 2007
______________________________________________________________________________
I read this and only thought "another" until i read carefully, a lot of detail coming out here. The last paragraph says it all: "19 vehicles which went through in six hours were found to be stolen. "We did not have the manpower to chase them, so they got away". So they have this wonderful technology, but it' not being effective for getting the stolen vehicles, those get away, but only you dear fool ctizen stand still for them to bloody your knuckles. Yes there is application, and i would have to agreed that guys like Mr Essa should be punished, but again, they parade him around like a pariah, and cite stolen vehicles escaping the roadblocks, while studiously working at harvesting your cash.
This is not about justice, this is not about road safety. What gets me is they try and make it to be. How the hell can he stand there and say that the 19 cars known to be stolen, just got away. So you got 19 people that are in stolen vehicles, KNOW they're in stolen vehicles, that are still out there, despite us as the collective citizenry having paid for measures to be put in to place to stop them?
This is africa, everything breaks down here.
Monday, 22 October 2007
Track day
Ok, the previous pics need an explanation....
Saturday was the Michelin Superbike School, which i was fortunate enough to attend. What an absolutely brilliant day, from start to finish .... and i even took the good vibes home with me.
Started at about 7am, with people arriving etc. Coffee and muffins, then into the classroom. I was surprised, in that the classroom sessions were not really intense, merely laying guidelines and ground rules for getting on the track. But the ideas were those that carried over into the street as well, which i think was why most of the guys were there.
The track sessions were intense. The only way i can describe it is .... i can't. The heat, the noise, the power, the adrenaline, the speed ......
I was voted the most improved rider in my group. Not the best, or fastest mind you. But so much came together on the track for me, stuff i have learned in theory, but never had the chance to put into action.
A track is a magic place, where reality is suspended, no taxis, oil slicks, roadside kerbs or bmw drivers late for a meeting. Flat hard asphalt, wide and free .... and motorbikes. I've wanted to get on a track since i can remember, used to get pit tickets for killarney in cape town. The smells and noise and heat are irrestable to impressionble kids (like me :D). But honestly, being able to take a bike onto a grand prix racetrack was beyond anything i had dreamed. MY bike too. Shian ;-)
Since saturday, i've put a couple of kilos onto the bike, just brekfast run type rides, but already i can feel the improvement. Confidence. Knowledge. Experience.
All coming together to produce a comfortable, and SAFE ride, for my passengers and i.
I'm not a track person. Fun, exciting, educational and a lot more. But for me it's only a small step to the outside world. Giving me the tools to be where i want to be ... far away gliding over a long forgotten mountain pass. Somewhere where when you stop, it's quiet. And no-one will hassle you. Everyone greets, because you do that kind of thing, when you leave these cities. After all, the bike is a means to an end for me. A very nice means make no mistake, and one that even heightens the end. But a means to work and back, and away and back ... ever returning to the fold.
Saturday was the Michelin Superbike School, which i was fortunate enough to attend. What an absolutely brilliant day, from start to finish .... and i even took the good vibes home with me.
Started at about 7am, with people arriving etc. Coffee and muffins, then into the classroom. I was surprised, in that the classroom sessions were not really intense, merely laying guidelines and ground rules for getting on the track. But the ideas were those that carried over into the street as well, which i think was why most of the guys were there.
The track sessions were intense. The only way i can describe it is .... i can't. The heat, the noise, the power, the adrenaline, the speed ......
I was voted the most improved rider in my group. Not the best, or fastest mind you. But so much came together on the track for me, stuff i have learned in theory, but never had the chance to put into action.
A track is a magic place, where reality is suspended, no taxis, oil slicks, roadside kerbs or bmw drivers late for a meeting. Flat hard asphalt, wide and free .... and motorbikes. I've wanted to get on a track since i can remember, used to get pit tickets for killarney in cape town. The smells and noise and heat are irrestable to impressionble kids (like me :D). But honestly, being able to take a bike onto a grand prix racetrack was beyond anything i had dreamed. MY bike too. Shian ;-)
Since saturday, i've put a couple of kilos onto the bike, just brekfast run type rides, but already i can feel the improvement. Confidence. Knowledge. Experience.
All coming together to produce a comfortable, and SAFE ride, for my passengers and i.
I'm not a track person. Fun, exciting, educational and a lot more. But for me it's only a small step to the outside world. Giving me the tools to be where i want to be ... far away gliding over a long forgotten mountain pass. Somewhere where when you stop, it's quiet. And no-one will hassle you. Everyone greets, because you do that kind of thing, when you leave these cities. After all, the bike is a means to an end for me. A very nice means make no mistake, and one that even heightens the end. But a means to work and back, and away and back ... ever returning to the fold.
Friday, 19 October 2007
R.I.P.Lucky Dube
A well-spoken man and a great friend'
October 19, 2007
By Lebogang Seale
Pay your tributes to Lucky Dube here
World-acclaimed reggae singer Lucky Dube has been shot and killed in a hijacking.
The incident took place just after 8pm on Thursday night when Dube went to drop off his son at his uncle's house in Rosettenville, southern Joburg. Two men approached him and opened fire.
An injured Dube tried to flee but drove his grey Chrysler sedan into a tree and died on the scene. No further details were available as his son, who reportedly witnessed the incident, was still in shock.
Among the first to arrive at the scene were fellow musicians Mzwakhe Mbuli, Ringo Madlingozi and Deborah
Fraser.
Mbuli said: "It's a contrast that while the country is preparing itself for the Rugby World Cup final, we are robbed by this tragedy.
"How do you celebrate when you're in mourning? I hope the police get to the bottom of this and arrest the culprits," he said.
According to a witness, the hijackers opened the musician's door and shot him twice.
"Dube tried to drive away and hit a black Opel Corsa and then lost control of his car and hit a tree."
Dube's recording company, Gallo Records, paid tribute to the musician.
"He was a soft, well-spoken man, and a great friend," said Ivor Haarburger, the CEO of the Gallo music group.
Haarburger said Dube was the best reggae performer in the world and that he had bigger following internationally than in South Africa.
"He was huge in (the rest of) Africa, he could draw 40 000 to 50 000 people to a concert," Haarburger said.
He said Dube had recently been spending time overseas, getting his material released and had been talking of a new album. "But we were nowhere near to recording."
Lucky Dube was born on August 3 1964 in Ermelo, Mpumalanga. He launched his career as an mbhaqanga singer in 1979 and switched to reggae in 1984 to express his anger against apartheid.
_________________________________________________________________________
FUCK THIS!!!!! The stupid and cold hearted braindead fuckers who allow this to perpetuate must be taken out and shot. 9mm to the back of the head. And i am talking about jackie selebi.
I have picked up rumours that people are being encouraged to boo mbeki off the stage at the rugby world cup .... do it! show these worthless pieces of shit what the people have to say. HATE SPEECH ...HELL YES ... i hate these creatures of misery and i will NEVER stop calling for their summary execution. fuck the justice system, they've fucked that up too. Come here, let US show you justice.
I am so sad about this .... i love music, i enjoy reggae, and i love the south african spirit that Lucky Dube was famous for .... PEACE and LOVE ... its the ONLY way :(
October 19, 2007
By Lebogang Seale
Pay your tributes to Lucky Dube here
World-acclaimed reggae singer Lucky Dube has been shot and killed in a hijacking.
The incident took place just after 8pm on Thursday night when Dube went to drop off his son at his uncle's house in Rosettenville, southern Joburg. Two men approached him and opened fire.
An injured Dube tried to flee but drove his grey Chrysler sedan into a tree and died on the scene. No further details were available as his son, who reportedly witnessed the incident, was still in shock.
Among the first to arrive at the scene were fellow musicians Mzwakhe Mbuli, Ringo Madlingozi and Deborah
Fraser.
Mbuli said: "It's a contrast that while the country is preparing itself for the Rugby World Cup final, we are robbed by this tragedy.
"How do you celebrate when you're in mourning? I hope the police get to the bottom of this and arrest the culprits," he said.
According to a witness, the hijackers opened the musician's door and shot him twice.
"Dube tried to drive away and hit a black Opel Corsa and then lost control of his car and hit a tree."
Dube's recording company, Gallo Records, paid tribute to the musician.
"He was a soft, well-spoken man, and a great friend," said Ivor Haarburger, the CEO of the Gallo music group.
Haarburger said Dube was the best reggae performer in the world and that he had bigger following internationally than in South Africa.
"He was huge in (the rest of) Africa, he could draw 40 000 to 50 000 people to a concert," Haarburger said.
He said Dube had recently been spending time overseas, getting his material released and had been talking of a new album. "But we were nowhere near to recording."
Lucky Dube was born on August 3 1964 in Ermelo, Mpumalanga. He launched his career as an mbhaqanga singer in 1979 and switched to reggae in 1984 to express his anger against apartheid.
_________________________________________________________________________
FUCK THIS!!!!! The stupid and cold hearted braindead fuckers who allow this to perpetuate must be taken out and shot. 9mm to the back of the head. And i am talking about jackie selebi.
I have picked up rumours that people are being encouraged to boo mbeki off the stage at the rugby world cup .... do it! show these worthless pieces of shit what the people have to say. HATE SPEECH ...HELL YES ... i hate these creatures of misery and i will NEVER stop calling for their summary execution. fuck the justice system, they've fucked that up too. Come here, let US show you justice.
I am so sad about this .... i love music, i enjoy reggae, and i love the south african spirit that Lucky Dube was famous for .... PEACE and LOVE ... its the ONLY way :(
Thursday, 18 October 2007
Wednesday, 17 October 2007
Lane Splitting
The second one should not have happened. I think his concentration was caught by what was other side of the truck. But he was up and about, the reason we all wear that funny looking gear.
Tuesday, 16 October 2007
Helen Zille
This woman gets my respect every time i see her. This is her cycling to work for transport month. Look, i ride a motorbike daily, i will not ride a bicycle to work.
Its too dangerous, i'm not kidding here. And cold. And far. And hard bloody work, which i don't get paid for!
This is what leadership is about.
Toilet humour
Well this guy was born in a "rest room", and so i guess it's not his fault. But he's decided (and he has a good point) that the toilets are the seat of hygeine and good health. The house is christened Haewoojae, which means “a place of sanctuary where one can solve one’s worries” in Korean. Appropriate.
He became a mayor, and started cleaning up all the toilets, not just cleaning, but beautifying too. Flowers and paintings etc, and yes, it works.
"Designed by the founder of the World Toilet Association, SIM Jae-Duck of Seoul, the US $1.6 million toilet-shaped home will open on November 11 this year. The 419-square-metre (4,508-sq-foot) concrete and glass structure features four amazing deluxe bathrooms. The home has a showcase bathroom screened by a glass wall located in its centre. Other toilets tout features that range from elegant fittings to the latest in water conservation devices. An electronic sensor will raise the lid automatically when people enter and there will be music to entertain them while they relax."
Ok, getting eery towards the end, i HATE toilet / elevator stuff, rather get some windchimes outside :-D
Monday, 15 October 2007
Net nanny
Matric papers offered on net
15/10/2007 07:20 - (SA)
Johannesburg - A 20-year-old man who allegedly offered matric exam papers to friends on an internet service was taken into police custody for questioning on Sunday.
Captain Dennis Adriao told Primedia Broadcasting that police received an anonymous SMS tip-off on the 32211 Primedia Crime Line.
It named the man who was allegedly offering the matric exam papers.
The Johannesburg Flying Squad Reservist Unit then raided a house in Azaadville on the West Rand.
"Investigations indicated that the man posted an entry on Facebook last week making the claim. Upon questioning him, he said it was merely a prank.
"We confiscated a computer and cellphone and investigations are continuing," said Adriao.
A decision whether to prosecute the man on a charge of fraud would be taken shortly.
Primedia's Crime Line Manager Yusuf Abramjee said members of the community were continuing to pass on information and "we thank them".
Over 240 suspects have been arrested since the launch of the anti-crime initiative in June this year.
Stolen property, drugs and counterfeit goods to the value of R14.5m have been seized.
"We want to again appeal to the public to continue to break their silence and anonymously SMS 32211 (at a cost of R1) or go to www.crimeline.co.za.
"No matter how small or big the crime, blow the whistle," said Abramjee.
________________________________________________________________________
Yes, but this man did not commit a crime .... yet?
While i applaud the manner in which the police followed through, and the fact that it is taken seriously. Um .... yes, i have 253 uncut diamonds in my possesion.
On the basis of the above, they can arrest me and impound my personal property. This is based on a tip off to facebook. Um, maybe, maybe not, but this thing about arresting people for online posting does NOT bode well.
I guess it's about how it's enforced (as ever) but yes, people are taking notice of who says what. Careful ....
15/10/2007 07:20 - (SA)
Johannesburg - A 20-year-old man who allegedly offered matric exam papers to friends on an internet service was taken into police custody for questioning on Sunday.
Captain Dennis Adriao told Primedia Broadcasting that police received an anonymous SMS tip-off on the 32211 Primedia Crime Line.
It named the man who was allegedly offering the matric exam papers.
The Johannesburg Flying Squad Reservist Unit then raided a house in Azaadville on the West Rand.
"Investigations indicated that the man posted an entry on Facebook last week making the claim. Upon questioning him, he said it was merely a prank.
"We confiscated a computer and cellphone and investigations are continuing," said Adriao.
A decision whether to prosecute the man on a charge of fraud would be taken shortly.
Primedia's Crime Line Manager Yusuf Abramjee said members of the community were continuing to pass on information and "we thank them".
Over 240 suspects have been arrested since the launch of the anti-crime initiative in June this year.
Stolen property, drugs and counterfeit goods to the value of R14.5m have been seized.
"We want to again appeal to the public to continue to break their silence and anonymously SMS 32211 (at a cost of R1) or go to www.crimeline.co.za.
"No matter how small or big the crime, blow the whistle," said Abramjee.
________________________________________________________________________
Yes, but this man did not commit a crime .... yet?
While i applaud the manner in which the police followed through, and the fact that it is taken seriously. Um .... yes, i have 253 uncut diamonds in my possesion.
On the basis of the above, they can arrest me and impound my personal property. This is based on a tip off to facebook. Um, maybe, maybe not, but this thing about arresting people for online posting does NOT bode well.
I guess it's about how it's enforced (as ever) but yes, people are taking notice of who says what. Careful ....
Pumpkin pie
SA farmers keep their eyes on the pie
October 14 2007 at 04:10PM
South African farmers have set a new Guinness World Record for the biggest pumpkin pie ever made, SABC reported on Sunday.
The previous record was held by Americans with a pie of 920kg.
Farmers belonging to the Transvaal Agricultural Union weighed in with their attempt at 1 150kg.
The record bid took place at Rayton, east of Pretoria.
More than a ton of pumpkin had to be peeled, cooked and mixed with other ingredients. Four hundred litres of milk, 240 dozen eggs, five kilograms seasoning and 124kg of custard powder were used for the pie.
The pumpkin pie would be distributed among the poor, SABC reported. - Sapa
________________________________________________________________________
That is awesome!!
October 14 2007 at 04:10PM
South African farmers have set a new Guinness World Record for the biggest pumpkin pie ever made, SABC reported on Sunday.
The previous record was held by Americans with a pie of 920kg.
Farmers belonging to the Transvaal Agricultural Union weighed in with their attempt at 1 150kg.
The record bid took place at Rayton, east of Pretoria.
More than a ton of pumpkin had to be peeled, cooked and mixed with other ingredients. Four hundred litres of milk, 240 dozen eggs, five kilograms seasoning and 124kg of custard powder were used for the pie.
The pumpkin pie would be distributed among the poor, SABC reported. - Sapa
________________________________________________________________________
That is awesome!!
Thursday, 11 October 2007
Wednesday, 10 October 2007
Ancient murals found near Euphrates
October 10 2007 at 02:01AM
Damascus - Mural paintings dating back 11 000 years have been found in a building on a bank of the River Euphrates in northern Syria, a French archaeologist said on Tuesday.
Eric Coqueugniot said they were the oldest murals found in the Middle East.
"Geometric paintings - black, white and red - have been found on the wall of a house in Jadeh," he said, adding that they were discovered in late September in a circular house with a diameter of about seven metres.
The house was in a riverside village dating from the start of the neolithic era in the Middle East, 9 000 years BC.
The researchers found numerous flint objects at the site along with a figurine of a man. - Sapa-AFP
_______________________________________________________________
Curious .... 11000? Me goes goes digging.
October 10 2007 at 02:01AM
Damascus - Mural paintings dating back 11 000 years have been found in a building on a bank of the River Euphrates in northern Syria, a French archaeologist said on Tuesday.
Eric Coqueugniot said they were the oldest murals found in the Middle East.
"Geometric paintings - black, white and red - have been found on the wall of a house in Jadeh," he said, adding that they were discovered in late September in a circular house with a diameter of about seven metres.
The house was in a riverside village dating from the start of the neolithic era in the Middle East, 9 000 years BC.
The researchers found numerous flint objects at the site along with a figurine of a man. - Sapa-AFP
_______________________________________________________________
Curious .... 11000? Me goes goes digging.
Tuesday, 9 October 2007
Buzkashi
Central Asia, principally Afghanistan and Kyrgyzstan.
The national sport of Afghanistan, Turkmenistan and other unpronounceable Central Asian nations, it involves a large amount of ululating Arabs tearing around a large area on horseback, trying to wrestle the carcass of a goat from each other in an apparent effort to reaffirm every negative stereotype the world has about them.
The two mounted teams try to throw the dead goat over a goal line or into a tub. This elicits a great deal of enthusiasm, so we assume it constitutes scoring a point. Play is rough, and competitors often wear protective clothing to protect themselves from other riders’ boots, whips and probably stray bullets.
Origins:
We have no idea. Obviously when the good people of Central Asia started this game, they were having too much fun to write anything down for future posterity.
Interesting fact:
Buzkashi games can go on for several days, which says as much about the stamina of the players as it does about the total lack of any alternate form of entertainment in the regions the sport is played.
___________________________________________________________________________
Wow ... all we gotta do now is get this going on scramblers ... perhaps the dead goat can be replaced too ... but weeheee *grin*
The national sport of Afghanistan, Turkmenistan and other unpronounceable Central Asian nations, it involves a large amount of ululating Arabs tearing around a large area on horseback, trying to wrestle the carcass of a goat from each other in an apparent effort to reaffirm every negative stereotype the world has about them.
The two mounted teams try to throw the dead goat over a goal line or into a tub. This elicits a great deal of enthusiasm, so we assume it constitutes scoring a point. Play is rough, and competitors often wear protective clothing to protect themselves from other riders’ boots, whips and probably stray bullets.
Origins:
We have no idea. Obviously when the good people of Central Asia started this game, they were having too much fun to write anything down for future posterity.
Interesting fact:
Buzkashi games can go on for several days, which says as much about the stamina of the players as it does about the total lack of any alternate form of entertainment in the regions the sport is played.
___________________________________________________________________________
Wow ... all we gotta do now is get this going on scramblers ... perhaps the dead goat can be replaced too ... but weeheee *grin*
Friday, 5 October 2007
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yes ... and again YES
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like... night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9 . The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11 . A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
25. Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
26.Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
2. A day without sunshine is like... night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9 . The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11 . A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
25. Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
26.Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
Thursday, 4 October 2007
Don't get sick
Medics must pay up, or else...
03/10/2007 22:21 - (SA)
Bloemfontein - Thousands of health practitioners from across the health sector have been removed from the rolls of their respective professional bodies, the Health Professions Council of South Africa (HPCSA) said on Wednesday.
Council spokesperson Tendai Dhliwayo said the HPCSA recently erased 9 440 health workers countrywide who failed to pay their annual dues.
Dhliwayo said: "Though April 1 of every year is the deadline for practitioners to pay, the HPCSA this year gave its practitioners a three months grace period to pay before erasures occurred. "
The council had 125 074 healthcare practitioners registered and practitioners could not perform their duties if they were not registered.
Could re-apply to get names back on rolls
Dhliwayo said the council realised there was a shortage of healthcare personnel.
"The council has embraced a more accommodating stance than a reactive one to give every practitioner room to pay up."
Those practitioners who were erased could re-apply to get their names back on the rolls after paying the relevant penalties and the outstanding fees.
The Northern Cape and Eastern Cape regions recorded the least number of practitioners erased due to non-payment of their annual fees this year.
The Northern Cape lost 215 out of 2 823 and and the Eastern Cape 564 out of 7 470 registered practitioners.
Gauteng were the hardest hit as it lost 2 850 out of 42 746 and KwaZulu-Natal 1 933 out of 22 296 practitioners.
__________________________________________________________________________
Again, for those not in SA, the health industry is in shambles. Getting sent to a govt hospital is a trasumatic experience, and most likely a deadly one too.
We are importing cuban doctors. We have a common thief and alcoholic as a health minister. And our doctors have an annual fee to pay. If you don't pay, you're not a doctor anymore. This despite the fact that we had some of the best medical training institutions in the world.
A friend who recently qualified has been keeping us up to date over the years. 18 hour days, very unsafe and unsaitary conditions. Years worth of community service, and absolutely unforgivable salaries. Then, once they qualify, they have additional fees to pay. No wonder they're all leaving. Surely once a person has become a doctor, they are a doctor for life? I mean, short of malpractice, what invalidates such intense training and knowledge?
These doctors cannot just set up a practice. They have to apply. Then there is the legislation regarding pharmeceuticals, and the dispensing fees. They are completely monitored controlled and in effect, fucked over.
It makes me sick.
03/10/2007 22:21 - (SA)
Bloemfontein - Thousands of health practitioners from across the health sector have been removed from the rolls of their respective professional bodies, the Health Professions Council of South Africa (HPCSA) said on Wednesday.
Council spokesperson Tendai Dhliwayo said the HPCSA recently erased 9 440 health workers countrywide who failed to pay their annual dues.
Dhliwayo said: "Though April 1 of every year is the deadline for practitioners to pay, the HPCSA this year gave its practitioners a three months grace period to pay before erasures occurred. "
The council had 125 074 healthcare practitioners registered and practitioners could not perform their duties if they were not registered.
Could re-apply to get names back on rolls
Dhliwayo said the council realised there was a shortage of healthcare personnel.
"The council has embraced a more accommodating stance than a reactive one to give every practitioner room to pay up."
Those practitioners who were erased could re-apply to get their names back on the rolls after paying the relevant penalties and the outstanding fees.
The Northern Cape and Eastern Cape regions recorded the least number of practitioners erased due to non-payment of their annual fees this year.
The Northern Cape lost 215 out of 2 823 and and the Eastern Cape 564 out of 7 470 registered practitioners.
Gauteng were the hardest hit as it lost 2 850 out of 42 746 and KwaZulu-Natal 1 933 out of 22 296 practitioners.
__________________________________________________________________________
Again, for those not in SA, the health industry is in shambles. Getting sent to a govt hospital is a trasumatic experience, and most likely a deadly one too.
We are importing cuban doctors. We have a common thief and alcoholic as a health minister. And our doctors have an annual fee to pay. If you don't pay, you're not a doctor anymore. This despite the fact that we had some of the best medical training institutions in the world.
A friend who recently qualified has been keeping us up to date over the years. 18 hour days, very unsafe and unsaitary conditions. Years worth of community service, and absolutely unforgivable salaries. Then, once they qualify, they have additional fees to pay. No wonder they're all leaving. Surely once a person has become a doctor, they are a doctor for life? I mean, short of malpractice, what invalidates such intense training and knowledge?
These doctors cannot just set up a practice. They have to apply. Then there is the legislation regarding pharmeceuticals, and the dispensing fees. They are completely monitored controlled and in effect, fucked over.
It makes me sick.
Wednesday, 3 October 2007
Round and round the mulberry bush
Ok i'm supposed to post something. Something interesting funny or serious.
But at this point in time i couldn't give a fuck.
About much.
Peace
But at this point in time i couldn't give a fuck.
About much.
Peace
Tuesday, 2 October 2007
Full contact chess
Yes, it is around.
Where: Finland.
What is it?
Pretty much what the name implies. It’s a hybrid sport combining chess and boxing, one that the organizers claim is the ultimate test of brains and brawn. Competitors play a round of chess and then box the living crap out of each other.
The game is split into 11 four-minute alternating rounds of chess and boxing, starting and ending with the chess. At the end of the chess round, the board is removed from the boxing ring and the competitors then beat the piss out of each other for a further four minutes. Then the board is replaced and the thinking caps come back out. Winning comes either from a checkmate or a knockout.
You immediately see the flaw in the rules: A good boxer can simply sleepwalk through the opening chess round, then beat his opponent unconscious once the boxing starts. In other words, it’s possible to win without knowing anything at all about chess.
Origins:
The game in it’s current format came from the mind of Serbian cartoonist Enki Bilal, who penned a graphic novel featuring the game in 1992, but purists argue that the game was originally conceived in the 1991 Finnish film Uuno Turhapuro, herra Helsingin herra, in which a man makes chess moves over a hands-free telephone headset while simultaneously beating the shit out of another man. This makes one wonder why they don't do actual chess boxing that way, but who are we to tell them how to do their jobs.
Interesting fact:
Chess boxing was the inspiration for The Wu-Tang Clan song “Da Mystery of Chessboxin’” from their debut album, a fact made very evident by the lyric "Steamrollin niggaz like a 18-wheeler/with the drunk driver drivin, there's no survivin'."
Where: Finland.
What is it?
Pretty much what the name implies. It’s a hybrid sport combining chess and boxing, one that the organizers claim is the ultimate test of brains and brawn. Competitors play a round of chess and then box the living crap out of each other.
The game is split into 11 four-minute alternating rounds of chess and boxing, starting and ending with the chess. At the end of the chess round, the board is removed from the boxing ring and the competitors then beat the piss out of each other for a further four minutes. Then the board is replaced and the thinking caps come back out. Winning comes either from a checkmate or a knockout.
You immediately see the flaw in the rules: A good boxer can simply sleepwalk through the opening chess round, then beat his opponent unconscious once the boxing starts. In other words, it’s possible to win without knowing anything at all about chess.
Origins:
The game in it’s current format came from the mind of Serbian cartoonist Enki Bilal, who penned a graphic novel featuring the game in 1992, but purists argue that the game was originally conceived in the 1991 Finnish film Uuno Turhapuro, herra Helsingin herra, in which a man makes chess moves over a hands-free telephone headset while simultaneously beating the shit out of another man. This makes one wonder why they don't do actual chess boxing that way, but who are we to tell them how to do their jobs.
Interesting fact:
Chess boxing was the inspiration for The Wu-Tang Clan song “Da Mystery of Chessboxin’” from their debut album, a fact made very evident by the lyric "Steamrollin niggaz like a 18-wheeler/with the drunk driver drivin, there's no survivin'."
Monday, 1 October 2007
Ain't it so?
Woman's Poem
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Man's Poem
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor
store and a golf course. This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Man's Poem
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor
store and a golf course. This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.
Questions that need answers
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?
15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
19. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went bonkers.
20. Ever wonder about those people who spend £2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
21. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
22. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?
15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
19. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went bonkers.
20. Ever wonder about those people who spend £2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
21. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
22. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
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