Happy retard day

Ok, a bit harsh maybe, but please don't argue the validity!!!

*chuckle*

I had fun this morning, of course. With cars and bikes alike. My favourite was a cruiser, who came bubbling past me in the construction lane. It's friday, ride to work day. And you get all the monkeys who usually sit in cars, now free to ride around as they like *sigh*. Anyhow, the traffic had freed up at that point quite nicely, so i was able to take it to about 80km/h, and flow through the traffic. (i'll add a bit about "flow" later). Which took me to a little slower than he was going, however he had to slow down to get around the GREAT BIG BLOODY SIGNBOARDS that said don't use use this lane to drive in. Go figure. So as mr cool on his hogalike is trying to squeeze back into traffic to squeeze out again (?) i come zooming past. He tried to catch me, i could tell, in his very own construction lane. But no, another one of those annoying signboards slowed him.

Meanwhile, i'm having a great time, waving at the people as they move over for me. Mr cool then decides to pull in behind me. Well ok, he got the idea. But of course, riding behind me meant that people had just moved aside for me, hence he could follow in the wash. Too fast for his own good of course, something he was clearly figuring out as we parted ways. He was riding badly, because he didn't know what the limits were. He was so enjoying the ride, he wasn't thinking about it. I HOPE that he was humbled just a little (?) I don't even know if i should have, but it felt right to do, so i hope he stays safe.

The second problem this morning, were the cagers, well we're used to that. This morning though it was like someone had turned lane changing into an olympic sport. People, if all 3 lanes are slow, changing lanes is NOT GONNA HELP. DUH.

So this white polo changes lanes and then back again, without indicating, and within about 10 seconds. As i pull up, and hoot, he hoots back, ok, a conversation ... *wicked grin*.

A young, 24/25 year old white male. Large packet of simba chips so close to his face i think he was sniffing them. Poncy little bleached hairdo and a earing of some sort. Chubby, someone who takes no care of himself, and the default food is take out. You fucking pillock, i greet him with. Oh you fucking bikers he replies. Do you know how pathetic you are? I ask with a smile (he of course can't hear a word of what i'm saying, nor see the glee on my face at this encounter). WAAAA WAAAA (he shouts) *messes chips* *gestures wildly* *pulls faces*. By this time i'm getting bored, so i bounce on my bike, laugh and point fingers, and ride away.

Moral of the story is: Never underestimate the possible enjoyment involved in fucking with people WHO CLEARLY NEED IT. I think ...



Moving swiftly along. Flow. Um. Ok, there are a numebr of "settings" i have.

Fast: traffic average above 100, loose traffic, plenty of space. You can ride fairly quick, because if someone changes lanes, you have the space to swerve, and the speed to be ahead of them by the time the have changed lanes.

Modest: Traffic around 80, slightly tighter. Similar to fast, you keep momentum going, to get around the lane changers, but space is a problem, so in any doubt, slow. This is when people are most likely to notice you and move over. (this is what i was doing when flowing, just doing about 100, moving forward thugh the traffic)

Slow: traffic at about 40, bumper to bumper essentially. This is quite dangerous, because you have to keep the speed down. At this speed motorists usually are docile, except for the one (there's always one)

Packed: Bumper to bumper, sub 20km/h, this is when cagers get fustrated, but due to the tightness, cannot change lanes easily. Slow and cautious pickingforwar on the bike. The cars are usually highly staggered, making a narrow channel to ride in.

Those are the different average speeds. What kills though, is when 2 lanes are not at the same speed, like coming up to a offramp, the fast lane usually slows first, the slow lane becomes half empty due to those taking the offramp, and cagers swing from the fast to the slow lane, gaining perhaps 100 metres. I pull in tight behind a car in the middle lane, and just cruise at the average speed. Watching fo the monkey, there's always one. Funny thing is, when i'm riding behind a car like that, usually they pull over a little, until they see the car pull across, and they seem to understand imediately why i am hanging back. Which is when they move over a lot, keep a constant speed, and get a big friendly wave from me.