Note

It's a rather ... particular time of year, with all manner of things clamouring for our attention; year ends, parties, family, christmas, shopping, holidays and all the other glitz of the season.

I'm seeing this time now as year end, and renewal ... hopefully, a resetting of the clock ... which clock i'm not sure, but i'm reliably told there is one. It's been a year full ... of everything really, highs and lows in abundance, speaking about it here now, i cannot even pinpoint anything and say THAT was the bad or good thing. It all just flowed through us in an unceasing wave of experience, bringing both the life giving water and the flotsam it carries.

I have to express my deepest gratitude to people this year. Thank you. Without the people who surround me i would have had a much more unpleasant year. Bringing advice, friendship, company, assistance, and all other things we shared. Even to my bloglist sites, those people who put something "out there" at their leasure for our enjoyment, thank you. To the people who touched my life, thank you too.

I would say the highlight was about 6pm on the day of the toyrun. My duties had been carried out successfully, and while the toyrun wasn't entirely over, my part was done, and 28 000 children received a small token of love from a stranger. That alone is reason to smile, and more reason to be grateful for that which you do have.

I went out last night for coffee with a friend, and coming home around 12 i'd missed a massive amount of rain, as evidenced by the volume of water on the roads. The skies were heavily overcast, but not in a grey foggy blanket, but with the almost full moon highlighting all the cracks in the clouds, all the linings that silver colour. Brilliant white lightning added to the sky's display of grandeur, and an immediate pulse of ... adrenalin? or pride? or even lust for life surged through me. Our thunderstorms, like life, are both beautiful and dangerous at the same time. How can we approach them both with the right respect, enthusiam, and zest as they deserve?

I have no fixed idea really, that part of me is still debating the "best" way for me, but caring is part of it, and loyalty to self a second part. Saying NO a lot helps too.

This year rendered all my plans and schemes to dust. I sit and reflect on what could easily have been, what i thought i would do and achieve, and what actually transpired. What emerged is a different set of circumstances and rules and goals and materials, but there's something still begging for release inside me. A seed that has germinated, but now needs soil to be planted in, and so can grow in real terms outside of me.

I don't think of one thing when i say that, what i mean is more ... i have to make an impact. Something i've been avoiding for too long. It's a hope, a goal (even though i hate that word) ... it's a direction. Walk in the direction of the rising sun for 365 days, and you shall find the answers to your questions. So the wise voice in my head tells me ... i think he's having me on.

Peace and love ... i keep saying it, and it risks becomg a bland excuse for saying nothing, but i mean it. Everytime i say it, i think about it, and try my best to mean it. Peace ... may your heart be at ease with the world, and Love ... may you know it, feel it, and share it with others.

peace and love