RANT

OK, i'm having a bad day. If you're looking for something *nice* then fuck off ....


My child was in hospital the weekend for pneumonia. I was sick too, spent a long (holiday) weekend sick and sleepless. Plus it seems she got gastro or something while in hospital, so she's double sick now.
My medical aid has been placed "under curatorship" which is NOT the same as being bankrupt, they assure me. Despite this, we are now forced to pay cash for any medical expenses, cash which we don't have. So i can't go to the dentist, which i apparently need to, my mouth is killing me :(

The economy is fucked, properly broken. I cannot sell my car, which i bought for 35k 2 years ago, now i'll be lucky if i get more than 15 for it, IF I'M LUCKY.
You feeling lucky, punk? House same thing, never gonna get my money back, so i'm stuck in a house, which is costing more and more every fuckin month because of the way the rates are rising. We have no disposable income, i go on breakfast runs and cannot afford coffee, never mind fuckin breakfast.

I got my father and grandmother staying with us, plus the nurse for gran, and we just gotta make food for them to eat. Never mind the BITCH about not having my own space, the reason i bought a big house in the first fuckin place. And of course the fucking TV he brought with, against my express wishes, now i have to deal with TV noise (god i'm gonna smash that stupid box with a really big stick) and kids that wanna be vegetable brains along with the old man. And him of course too brain dead to realise how he is the bad influence on them, countering my instructions at nearly every turn.

Wife is still on fraud charges, get this: she gets given a piece of paper in a govt office, a year later she gets told it's fraudulent, and arrested and charged. So now we have to pay lawyers, to get "justice". Murderers walk out of court, and the fucking president has more charges against him than brain cells, but he'll walk, because it's a conspiracy. But my wife return to court again and again, despite no evidence against her, other than a document that was accepted as valid on several occasions, except the final.

The country is going downhill faster an a bob sled in free fall, and everywhere people are dying, from crime, roads, hospitals, police cells, and in their homes. There is fuckall that we can do. We can't even arm ourselves because guns are bad. ANY fuckin criminal can get a gun for as little as R100, but i cannot get one for self defense, because there is no crime problem.

This government is fucked ... police, education, halth, transport, every single aspect of government has failed, but we pay double for everything, and get fucked over by all sides equally. Fucking stupid pigs that took the farm, and are WORSE than the humans EVER were. You go read animal farm, that is south africa, after they changed the slogans on the wall, and the pigs moved into Manor house, and used the dogs against the farm animals. Denialism works, there IS no problem, they are right, whatever they say. Mass delusion and denialism, government sponsored terrorism of the poeple, threats of no electricity, babies dying in truckloads in hosptals, and we are calmly told that the deaths were within the norms.

The recent xenophobic violence was just the tip of the iceberg. South africa is about to become a bloodbath, the people are hungry, and angry at the lies. Sadly they're also too stupid to understand who is lying. SO they buy the lies, vent their anger elsewhere, when come back for more lies and licking the jackboots of the liars.

The ANCYL vows to kill on behalf of zuma ... kill WHO i fucking ask with tears in my eyes? Anyone who opposes? Anyone? South africa is second ONLY TO IRAQ in terms of people killed daily, young girls accept the fact the more than half the females in this countrey will be raped. THEY CONSIDER EARLY DEATH AS NORMAL.

These things plague me daily, eat away at my soul, my life force. We consider ourselves lucky to be alive every day. Having armed men assalt you and rape your wife is lucky if you're left alive. As a human, i cannot but reach for the divine, try and see the good in things. And yes, usually it is easy to spot that which lifts the spirit, the bird singing, the fresh dew, clouds, trees, children.

But it is also a form of delusion, the magician stealing attention form the slight of hand, and suddently HEY PRESTO ... reality has been bent, what is should not be. And we are left feeling bewildered and confused. Certain that we have been deceived in some way, but unable to point it out.

I say these things, and my training tells me to feel shame, since i have more than others. There are those who are infinitely worse off than i, and truth be told i AM grateful for the things i have, and the people i know. But what i describe is nothing more nor less than the human condition. Being fucked over is common for most of humanity, so much so that to point and say THE EMPORER IS NAKED is akin to slaughtering the sacred cow. WE HUMANITY ARE BETTER THAN THIS. Should be. Could be. Aren't.

K, i'm done.
peace