Life, etc.

Raw, rough, pressure, torn ... these words spring out, a honest reflection of inside. Of course inside doesn't always reflect outside, sometimes like a blue glass bowl, twisting and obscuring and curiously revealing in strangely warped ways.

The silence after an accident, the twisted metal still screeching, silently now but the mind is shattered, the glass bowls irrepairably fragmented and bloody sharp.

That moment, forever.

I have neglected my blog, my favourite little doorstep on the interwebs, my portal between my mind and out there. Perhaps i'm too far away right now, the above being clear indication. Twitter is busy, i'm loving twitter, because it's so easy to be positive there. A small "favourite" for someone, or a retweet that really is worth sharing, it is a small way of supporting the effort someone has made. I have become a bit of an addict there, under the moniker davigilant, it does mean that i have to be vigilant. Keeping eyes and mind open to what is around you. Healthy reminder sometimes.

So what's it really all about? When you come right down to it ...

I have no idea where that comes from, but it seems apt. Bill Hicks says it's just a ride, and he's right, sort of. Roller coaster ride to hell sounds more like it, you can't get off a rollercoaster until it's stopped, and you have no say in that. You said "errrr, ok" and now you're puking up the lunch that cost you most of your day's spending ...

Ok so i'm in bit of a bad place, you keep on keeping on, you know? I suppose it's quite a nice surprise that i'm still alive, so, got a chance, right? Still some fights out there you gotta fight, even when a fight is the last thing you could stomach ... this life we have is so fucking inscrutable it hurts to look at it. Look at God and you see "ineffable". Look that up and you'll understand.

The most encouraging thing i've read recently is this: We're all fucked, it helps if you remember that. True for us humans, always has been true, always will be. We are neither angel nor ape, we are the new creation betwixt and between, forging our own way forward into infinity, with only each other help us and only other humans' to hinder our progress. Only our own spark of intelligence to warm our frozen hearts by.

I think i need that on a bumper sticker. Forget "think" ... more like breathe, keep breathing ...

The free ride around the sun can make you dizzy after a while.

All i have right now is peace and love, and keep breathing. Somehow that's enough, just keep thinking peace and love, for yourself and for everyone you meet ... peace and love and keep breathing.