The good, the bad, and the fucked

Well now, that's an appropriate heading to start this post.

I don't have anything to say. At least not coherent. I feel sick.

I am sick, i think. Depressed, and all that other psycho babble.

At what point is it ok to give up? I guess the official answer is never, but fuck them. Official answers are always provided by smiling people who are far too clean.

I have come to beleive that life is not worth the living. For anyone. The fact that we keep it up i think is because of the VAST amount of bullshit we feed each other.

On the eve of losing everything, including freedom, people still maintain it can't get any worse, oh chin up silver lining, and all that over-optimistic crap. Tell yourself that and you may even believe it .... don't mean it's true :/

Oh, and if you ever tell someone it can't get worse, go die you retarded moron. It can. It does. The only reason you never hear about it is because once it has, the people it's happened to aren't writing million dollar bestsellers about it. They just die somewhere you never heard of.

I got this dilemma. I need a lawyer. Lawyer costs lots of money. So i need to seel the car. But i need to fix the car first. Which takes money. So i either fix the car, and hope to sell it for lawyer money, or leave the car and spend the money on the lawyer. Car needs fixing either way, just haven't got there yet.

I have a bike too. Honda CB400 i paid R20000 for. Also broken, won't take much money to fix, just time. But fuck, at this point i can't give it away. Everyone's like: Oh what a lovely bike!!! Oh, wanna buy it? No thanks i couldn't .... *sigh*

I think i need a gun. People with guns don't have problems getting money. Neither do lawyers, but a gun won't shoot you in the back.