A carping storm-crow

There's no other way to start with how i'm feeling than to guide you here:

http://joberry4.wordpress.com/2013/12/05/end-of-year-repost-from-2010-even-more-valid/

Yes, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013 ... what i said earlier this year about this free trip around the sun. Bill Hicks reminded us that "its just a ride", but in some strange carnival and finding yourself on the haunted house ride when you were aiming for the love cruise.

I've been very quiet on here this year, not that i haven't had things to say, but saying them out loud ... well i'm a firm believer in: if you have nothing good to say, don't say it, so i don't. Of course we have different levels of communication available, and when you stop talking, only silence and screaming remains. This blog was always meant to be a means of converting my thought bubbles into readable prose, but my thoughts are too incoherent, mostly just vague feelings or emotions. Not all bad emotions to be fair, but unfocussed or worse, apathetic.

2013 has been a most unpleasant year all round, both personal and public, and i feel like a comrades runner metres from the finishing post, gathering the last reserves of strength, if only to fall on THAT side of the line, and not this side of it. The line in this case doubling as a start line for next year ... not really fair, when you look at it like that. This year i get a 3 week good behaviour breather ... almost unbeliebable somehow. So I'm allocating myself tasks, every day something to do, mowing the lawn, building a fireplace to rid some of the woodpiles that have accumulated through winter, and similar trivialities.

4 days later i write this next bit ... I need to finish it off somehow. So many thoughts and things i want to say "hey look here, this is cool" ... but i can't keep my head together enough for that. I'm off to fiddle with my stuff in my man-cave and play with my nothing box.

peace and love everyone who reads this.